I Want To Talk About Loss

I want to talk a little bit about loss.

We all understand very tangible losses: loss of a loved one, job loss, divorce, loss of a precious item. In fact some of these losses may very well contribute to the perfect storm of disordered eating.

Let’s consider that on the surface, there appear to be positive aspects to the behaviours that lead to an eating disorder. Micro managing your relationship with food can offer a person a sense of control in a world where control might seem out of reach. Some level of power, when they otherwise feel powerless.

There is a great deal of fear associated with giving up behaviours that make a person feel safe and empowered, even if those behaviours are actually detrimental to their safety and wellbeing.

“Who will I be and how will I cope if I walk away from the very practices that have provided me with emotional comfort?”

That being the case, no wonder it so difficult to move forward towards recovery, even when a person has been through treatment and is doing their best to use all of the tools that have been given to them.

It really doesn’t matter how much evidence a person hears about how destructive it is to starve your body, or to binge to the point where you are overwhelmed with the urge to purge.  

Wayne Dwyer said something like: “Understanding how to ride a bicycle comes from someone giving you the instructions.  Knowing how to ride a bicycle come from getting on it and peddling.” I’m paraphrasing but this is the reality.  

It takes a great deal of courage to give up something that has insinuated itself into every aspect of your life and there will very likely be an overwhelming sense of loss associated with giving up your eating disorder. 

Developing the right supports and strong strategies will help you fill that void and build a healthier, richer life as you travel on your road to recovery.

Author: Rose MacDonald, Recovery Coach