While searching through what seemed like endless unnamed files on my laptop, I came across this audio file I had made for myself a few years ago. Listening to this, I was reminded that recovery is a journey, not a destination. The questions and doubts I was exploring years ago are still things I am working through, and getting better at.

All those years ago, I was struggling with the notion of how to live an authentic life, when I was not entirely sure what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I struggled with the idea that I was so far behind my peer group. I had not had a full time job in a while. I went back to school, I dabbled in a few things, but I was nowhere close to having a life partner, a home of my own, a new car - all of the things that society told me I should be well underway, if not already, accomplishing, but they were not even on the radar. This felt quite soul crushing - it made me feel as though I was failing; maybe I was making all the wrong decisions.

What I have always known was this: My authentic self is a freedom-seeker - I like to have flexibility, I like to make my own rules, and I have to do a lot of self talk on this almost everyday.

Fast forward a few years: I still doubt myself, but much less frequently, and now I have the ability and tools to rationally explore the difficult thoughts and put them into perspective. I am also much more aware that actually no one has it all figured out. There is no single timeline to follow in life, regardless of where the majority of your peers may be.

I continue to explore how to live authentically in a world that promotes being artificial.